My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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