If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Sex in the backyard? Check.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
