I am full of burrito and curiosity
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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