She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
