Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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