So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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