I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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