Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
