none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
