So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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