As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
