mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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