who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
