how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
