my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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