i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
