I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
