You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
