Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
