Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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