I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
