Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
