I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
