He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
