please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My life is pants optional.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
