Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
