We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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