like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
