So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
