Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
