it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
