a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
