Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize