I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
