they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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