I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize