i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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