Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
