I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
