Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
