She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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