how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
