Tell her she can't have a vagina
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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