and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
