help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
