That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
