Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
