when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
