he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
