They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
