And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
