THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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