maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
