What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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