i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
