whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
