Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
