I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
