so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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