Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
