My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
