I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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