Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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