I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
