You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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