my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
